Red Lines — First Date questions

1Would you leave your phone unlocked on the table?

• I'd leave it easily
• I'd turn the screen off
• I'd take it with me
• It depends who's there

2Do you share your location with your partner?

• Let it stay on always
• Only when I'm travelling
• I tell them if they ask
• I never share it

3How do you feel when your partner asks where you are?

• I count it as caring
• I find it natural
• I feel smothered
• I wonder why they're asking

4How do you say you want to be alone?

• I say it plainly
• I find an excuse
• I slip away quietly
• I make it clear without saying it

5What do you expect when you close your door?

• That nobody disturbs me
• That they knock
• That they come in and sit with me
• I don't close my door

6Living together what stays entirely yours?

• My work corner
• My wardrobe
• My mornings
• Let it all be shared

7What do you say to someone who uses your things without asking?

• I don't mind at all
• Just ask me first
• I say some things are off limits
• I tell them it bothers me

8What if someone saw your open laptop?

• I wouldn't care
• I'd close it at once
• I'd feel uneasy
• It's locked anyway

9What if your partner opened a parcel addressed to you?

• I wouldn't mind
• I'd want them to wait
• Let's open it together
• It would annoy me

10How does your phone unlock?

• With my fingerprint
• With my face
• With a passcode
• It isn't locked

11What if your partner wanted to look at something on your phone?

• I'd hand it over at once
• I'd stand beside them
• I'd ask what for
• They can use their own

12Who can see your social media?

• Everyone
• My followers
• Only people close to me
• I don't have an account

13How would you feel if your partner posted your photo unasked?

• I'd like it
• I'd want them to ask first
• It depends which photo
• It would bother me

14How does spending time in separate rooms feel?

• It does me good
• It's needed now and then
• It feels distant
• Let's be in the same room

15Do you put on headphones and retreat while together at home?

• Often
• Now and then
• It would feel odd
• I don't wear them when we're together

16How does your family learn who you're seeing?

• I tell them
• I say when they ask
• They hear it themselves
• They don't find out

17Do you show your friend what your partner writes?

• I show all of it
• The funny ones
• Only when there's a problem
• I never show it

18Do you tell your family about an argument with your partner?

• I tell them right away
• Once it's over
• I never tell them
• Only if they'll take my side

19Should your partner join your friends' group chat?

• Yes let them join
• Only when there's a plan
• Keep it separate
• I don't have a group chat

20Do you say who's messaging you?

• I say it unprompted
• I say if I'm asked
• I brush it off
• I don't say

21Would you meet a friend your partner doesn't know without mentioning it?

• Easily
• I'd tell them afterwards
• I'd say beforehand
• I have no such friend

22Do you tell your partner about a big purchase?

• Before I buy it
• After I've bought it
• If they ask
• My money is my business

23Does having a plan your partner doesn't know about bother you?

• Not at all
• A little
• Very much
• I don't have plans like that

24Who at work should know about your relationship?

• Everyone
• A few close colleagues
• Everyone except my manager
• Nobody

25Is it hard to keep something between you two to yourself?

• Not at all
• I tell one person
• Very hard
• Telling never occurs to me

26How should your partner describe you to their family?

• In full
• In broad strokes
• Briefly and kindly
• Let me describe myself

27How much do mutual friends know about you two?

• Everything
• The good parts
• Almost nothing
• They work it out without being told

28When showing a photo do you let them swipe?

• I let them
• I do the swiping
• I open only that one photo
• I don't show photos

29Is there anywhere at home you'd rather your partner didn't rummage?

• Nowhere
• One drawer
• One cupboard
• My whole room

30Would you tell your partner a secret entrusted to you?

• I wouldn't
• I'd tell it without naming anyone
• Let them know too
• It depends

31What if your partner turned up unannounced?

• I'd love it
• I'd be surprised but glad
• I don't want to be caught unready
• I'd ask them to warn me first

32If you both kept one phone rule what would it be?

• No phones at the table
• No phones at night
• On silent when we're together
• No rule is needed

33What should the agreement be about each other's phones?

• Neither of us looks
• Both of us look freely
• We ask before looking
• Let's not discuss it

34What should shared money be set aside for?

• Household costs
• Holidays
• Emergencies
• There shouldn't be shared money

35Should you share a streaming account?

• One account is enough
• Keep them separate
• We share the password
• I've never thought about it

36Should some decisions never be made alone?

• Everything gets discussed
• Only the big ones
• The ones about money
• Everyone decides for themselves

37Should you agree upfront how often you see the families?

• Settle it beforehand
• It sorts itself out in time
• Each handles their own family
• It isn't something to discuss

38What do you tell your partner about separate plans with friends?

• I say it beforehand
• I say it that day
• I tell them afterwards
• I don't need to say

39What do you do when taking a call in front of each other?

• I leave the room
• I talk where I am
• I put it on speaker
• I call back later

40Should you give notice before inviting friends over?

• Every time
• If it's a crowd
• It isn't necessary
• I ask first

41Would you keep your plans in a shared calendar?

• It would be great
• Only the shared plans
• I'd find it unnecessary
• My calendar stays mine

42Would you give your partner a key?

• Straight away
• Once things progress
• Only if we live together
• I wouldn't

43Must you follow each other on social media?

• Of course
• It makes no difference
• Better if we don't
• I don't use it anyway

44Which house rule should be settled first?

• Cleaning
• Guests
• Quiet hours
• Expenses

45Is taking separate holidays acceptable?

• Perfectly
• If they're short
• Absolutely not
• I'd like to try it

46Do you feel obliged to tell your partner everything?

• I feel obliged
• I want to tell them
• I choose what to tell
• There's no obligation

47Do you explain when you reply late?

• Every time
• If it took a long while
• When asked
• I don't explain

48What if your family wants to meet your partner?

• I arrange it at once
• I wait a little
• I ask my partner
• I put it off

49Should weekends together be a given?

• Every week
• Most weeks
• We decide turn by turn
• Nobody should promise

50How do you feel about your partner's family dinners?

• I go gladly
• I go now and then
• I go out of duty
• I'd rather not go

51Would you cancel your plans when your partner is low?

• Always
• If the plan doesn't matter
• I'd invite them along
• I'd keep my plans

52What would you think if you didn't speak for a day?

• Perfectly normal
• It might even be good
• I'd get curious
• I'd assume something's wrong

53Do you feel you must give a gift back?

• I always do
• When the time comes
• I don't feel obliged
• I buy something at once

54Must you like your partner's friends?

• I manage even if I don't
• I try to like them
• I don't have to
• If I don't I say so

55What if you're stuck with a plan you don't like?

• I go without complaining
• I say so from the start
• I leave halfway through
• I make my own plan

56Are you expected to check in with your family?

• We speak every day
• Every few days
• Only if something happens
• Nobody expects it

57Are you expected home straight after work?

• I go home every evening
• I can stay out if I say so
• Whatever I feel like
• I set my own hours

58Should your partner hear your news first?

• They should hear it first
• Whoever I happen to reach
• I tell my family first
• The order doesn't matter

59Would you wear clothes your partner bought you?

• I'd wear them with joy
• I'd wear them once
• Not if I don't like them
• I'd say let's choose together

60Should you try your partner's hobby?

• I'd try it at once
• I'd try it once
• If it interests me
• My own hobby is enough

61When do you start talking about your past?

• On the first date
• After a few dates
• When it gets serious
• Once they've told theirs

62Would you say how many relationships you've had?

• I give the number
• I round it off
• I'd rather not be asked
• I wouldn't say

63Would you say your ex's name?

• Easily
• I don't give the name
• If it comes up
• I never mention them

64Would you tell your partner what you hid from your family?

• I'd tell them
• Part of it
• I'd tell nobody
• I'd tell my family first

65When do you share an embarrassing memory?

• At the first chance
• Once we're close
• By turning it into a joke
• I never share it

66Would you say what you earn?

• I give the figure
• I give a rough idea
• I say I get by
• I don't discuss it

67Who knows your past better your family or your partner?

• My family
• My partner
• Each knows half
• Neither knows

68Do you volunteer things nobody asked about?

• I bring them up myself
• I wait for the right moment
• I don't tell unless asked
• I never bring them up

69Would you tell your partner about your hardest time?

• I'd tell it in full
• I'd skim over it
• I'd tell it much later
• I'd keep it to myself

70Would you show photos from your childhood?

• I'd open all of them
• A few
• I'd be too embarrassed
• I don't have any

71What if your past comes up on a first date?

• I talk openly
• I keep it short
• I turn it into a joke
• I ask about theirs too

72Do you fear they'll see you differently after you tell them?

• Not at all
• A little
• Very much
• That's why I don't tell

73What if you had a habit your partner doesn't know about?

• I'd tell them myself
• I'd wait for them to notice
• I'd try to quit it
• I'd keep hiding it

74What do you say when an unwanted subject comes up?

• I say I don't want to talk about it
• I change the subject
• I give a short answer
• I tell it and move on

75What if your partner won't talk about their past?

• I find it natural
• I get curious
• Then I won't either
• I think they'll tell in time

76What do you do with a question you're afraid to ask?

• I ask it anyway
• I ask permission first
• I ask it indirectly
• I never ask it

77What if someone you just met tells you something very private?

• I share something too
• I only listen
• I lighten the subject
• I ask why they told me

78What if neither of you ever raises a subject?

• I raise it
• I wait
• I ask why
• I don't raise it either

79Which subject do you only discuss if asked?

• My family
• My income
• My past relationships
• I talk about everything unprompted

80What do you do when someone says don't tell anyone?

• I give my word
• I ask why first
• I listen without promising
• I treat it as unheard

81Should two people have subjects they never raise?

• There shouldn't be any
• There should be a few
• Everyone has their own
• It shows itself in time

82How do you sense someone's limit in a conversation?

• From their tone
• From their short answers
• From them changing the subject
• I can't sense it

83Which question feels like too much?

• How much I earn
• Why I'm single
• How I get on with my family
• None of them feel like too much

84What if you regret a story halfway through?

• I cut it off
• I see it through
• I soften it and finish
• I act as if I never started

85What do you leave for last when talking about yourself?

• My hard times
• My mistakes
• What I expect
• I leave nothing for last

86Do you answer as deeply as you're asked?

• At the same depth
• I'm more open
• I stay more closed
• It depends on the subject

87What if they open up faster than you?

• I speed up too
• I keep my own pace
• I'd ask them to slow down
• I like it

88How many questions feel right on a first date?

• Let there be plenty
• Keep it measured
• Few questions much talk
• I don't count

89When should they tell their people about you?

• Right away
• After a few dates
• Once I know about it
• That's up to them

90When should you name what's between you?

• Name it right away
• Let it show by itself
• When someone asks
• Never name it

91Do you keep dislikes to yourself?

• I always say them
• I say them if they matter
• I usually keep them in
• I say them later

92How much do your friends learn after a date?

• Every detail
• How it went
• Only that I went
• Nothing

93What if there's something you'd rather they didn't know?

• I tell them myself
• I stay quiet unless asked
• I tell them in time
• I never tell

94Do they have the right to ask you anything?

• They can ask anything
• They can ask most things
• Only what concerns them
• There's no such right

95Are there small things you don't tell them?

• None at all
• A few
• More than I could count
• Fewer over time

96Has staying silent ever caused a problem later?

• Never
• Once
• Often
• It will when the time comes

97Who may know something meant to stay between you?

• Nobody
• My closest friend
• My family
• Whoever asks

98What if you sense they're hiding something?

• I ask
• I raise the subject without asking
• I wait until they tell me
• I let it go

99How do you ask for something to stay between you?

• I set the condition first
• I ask afterwards
• I never set conditions
• I don't say such things

100Would you want them to hear about you from someone else?

• Never
• It's fine if it's trivial
• It makes no difference
• Everyone knows anyway

101When do you share good news with them?

• Right away
• Once it's certain
• When I see them in person
• When it comes up

102Do you hide it when something is going badly?

• I tell them at once
• I tell them once it's sorted
• I tell them if asked
• I keep it inside

103Do you rehearse before you say something?

• Word for word
• In broad strokes
• Never
• It stays a rehearsal and I never say it

104Do you flag a subject you'd rather not hear about?

• I say it upfront
• I say it when it comes up
• I show it without saying it
• I never say it

105Do you correct a wrong idea people have about you?

• I correct it at once
• When the chance comes
• If it matters
• I don't bother

106How do two people set their rules?

• By talking
• They form on their own
• One person sets them
• They never get set

107Can a rule work without being discussed?

• Perfectly well
• It must be discussed
• It gets discussed when broken
• That's what I always do

108What if they forget a promise?

• I remind them
• I never bring it up
• I wait for the next one
• I forget mine too

109What happens when you can't agree?

• Whoever wants it more wins
• We take turns
• We meet in the middle
• We drop it

110When should a couple start setting rules?

• From day one
• At the first problem
• A long time later
• I don't like setting rules

111When do you warn them you can't keep your word?

• The moment I realise
• At the last minute
• I explain afterwards
• I go anyway

112What if they break one of your rules?

• I say so at once
• I let it go once
• I do the same back
• I ask why

113Which rule between you is non negotiable?

• Letting each other know
• Keeping your word
• Being able to take time for yourself
• None of them are essential

114Do you notice who writes more?

• I never look
• I notice it
• I try to balance it
• I even count

115How far ahead should a meeting be planned?

• The same day
• A day before
• At the start of the week
• Let's have a fixed day

116Is a late night message normal?

• Normal at any hour
• Not after a certain hour
• Normal if it's urgent
• Normal if it doesn't wake anyone

117Who makes the new plan after a cancellation?

• Whoever cancelled
• The other one
• Both of us
• Nobody does

118How do you know what they expect from you?

• They say it
• I read it from them
• I ask
• I can't know

119Would you change a habit for them?

• I'd change the small ones
• I'd change it if they asked
• I'd try for a while
• I wouldn't change

120What do you do when you break your own rule?

• I forgive myself
• I tell the other person
• I rethink the rule
• I don't do it again

121How do you answer an invitation you don't want?

• I say no directly
• I find an excuse
• I go anyway
• I delay my answer

122Must you give a reason when you say no?

• I always give one
• A short reason is enough
• I give no reason
• I give one if I have one

123What if they suggest something you dislike?

• I try it anyway
• I say I don't like it
• I suggest something else
• I say let's take turns

124Do you go along with a decision made without you?

• I go along
• I want to know why
• I object
• I do my own thing

125How do you feel when they pay the bill?

• Comfortable
• In their debt
• I say next one's on me
• I don't accept it

126How often have you said yes when you meant no?

• Never
• A few times
• More than I can count
• I always say yes

127If one moves fast and one slow who adjusts?

• The fast one waits
• The slow one steps up
• Both a little
• Neither changes

128How do you react to a gift you don't like?

• I pretend I love it
• I say so honestly
• I turn it into a joke
• I ask to exchange it

129What if you change your mind after promising?

• I keep my word
• I let them know at once
• I try to postpone it
• I explain and back out

130How should they ask you for something?

• Directly
• With a hint
• With the reason attached
• However they like

131What happens when you go to a plan out of duty?

• I enjoy it anyway
• It spoils my mood
• I don't let it show
• I leave early

132How do you feel after saying no?

• Relief
• Guilt
• Nothing
• A need to explain

133How far do you go to avoid hurting them?

• All the way if I must
• Up to a point
• I tell the truth from the start
• I don't bother

134Do you turn down a request that's hard for you?

• I turn it down
• I do it once
• I do it but complain
• I can never turn one down

135After declining do you want to be invited again?

• They should always invite me
• They should try once more
• They shouldn't
• I'll do the inviting

136What persuades you to confess?

• Their own confession
• A long silence
• A direct question
• Nothing does

137How does confessing make you feel?

• Relieved
• Regretful
• Stronger
• It makes me feel nothing

138Where does a confession's limit lie?

• Where I'd be ashamed
• If it would hurt them
• If someone else is involved
• I have no limit

139Do you close the subject after a confession?

• I close it at once
• I keep talking
• I leave it to them
• I move away from it

140When do you own up to a mistake?

• Right away
• Before anyone notices
• When I'm asked
• Only if it comes out

141Is it hard to say you've changed your mind?

• I say it easily
• I struggle a little
• It's very hard
• I never say it

142What do you leave out when you confess?

• The reason
• Who it was
• The crucial part
• I leave nothing out

143What do you expect after confessing?

• That they tell me theirs
• That they just listen
• That they say what they think
• I expect nothing

144What does someone's confession do to you?

• It brings us closer
• It makes me feel responsible
• It unsettles me
• It makes no difference

145On which date would you make a confession?

• The first
• The third
• Months later
• I never would

146What if they brush off your confession?

• I let it go
• I ask them to take it seriously
• I never tell them again
• I turn it into a joke too

147Have you backed out just as you were about to speak?

• Many times
• Once or twice
• Never
• I thought about it but said it anyway

148Do you trust your confession stays with them?

• Completely
• I come to trust it in time
• I don't trust it but I tell anyway
• I don't tell

149How much do you want them to confess?

• Let them tell everything
• As much as they're comfortable with
• Let them tell little
• Let them tell nothing

150Do you show it rather than say it?

• I always say it
• I always show it
• It depends
• I manage neither